Teach Me Not to Dream
by Ash M. Knight
Summary: Regina leaves Granny's and finds Emma outside kissing Hook. Heartbreak ensues. (No OutlawQueen.) Just a quick little one-shot. SwanQueen


**Author's Note: The song used throughout the piece is "A Deep Slow Panic" by AFI.**

* * *

It's difficult to feel like a queen when you're ruling by yourself. It's worse when the object of your affection is _not_ alone.

 _I watched you go out the door_

 _With poise I'd not seen before_

 _I saw you shine, you shine_

 _I collapsed to the floor_

 _It promised it'd miss me more and said,_

 _"True love is mine._

 _I missed you._

 _Did you miss me?"_

When the queen exited the building, the last thing she was expecting to see was what she found before her eyes. As soon as she saw it, the tears formed.

"Emma?" she asked dumbly, staring at the two individuals in front of her, wrapped in each others arms, lips connected.

As soon as she heard the sound, the woman tore herself away from the man who had captured her lips.

"Regina," she breathed, staring back at the other woman, her cheeks bright red.

The man, on the other hand, was wearing a confident smirk that displayed his unwavering confidence.

Regina wasted no time in turning and running down the street, not looking back.

 _Slowly, it's consuming me_

 _Deliberate and deep_

 _I can't take this deeper panic_

 _Teach me, teach me not to dream_

 _Dream deeply_

Alone in her room, Regina let the tears fall. A soft cheek touched a pillow as the woman curled on her side on her bed, letting her sorrow soak the fabric. When she fell asleep, she dreamed of what could have been, and what was lost. Tormented by these thoughts, she woke nearly every twenty minutes to toss and turn, shaken out of her thoughts by the burning of her own disappointment.

In the morning, when she woke still alone, the tears fell again, barely giving her a moment to breathe before the grief choked her once more. When her cell phone rang, she simply ignored it, pressing the button on the top of the phone to silence the sound, not bothering to glance at the screen to find out who was calling. The thought that it might be her son ran through her mind, but she pushed it away, reasoning that he would be fine with his mother, and that there was no reason for him to need her.

She stayed inside the rest of the day, not bothering to change out of the clothes she'd been wearing since the day before, and ate nothing. The only thing she consumed the entire day was a half a glass of water, just enough to quench the thirst created from her extended episode of crying, which continued periodically throughout the day.

She did absolutely nothing to pass the time. She simply watched the clock as the minutes crawled by, declining to read, watch television, or work on the mound of official paperwork she was supposed to complete as the mayor. Instead, she chose to wallow in her own misery, not even expending the effort to stop herself from crying.

 _I haven't left here for days_

 _My panic keeps me awake as he unwinds inside_

 _He told me I should have known_

 _That he hated the way I'd grown to love soft lies_

 _She lied_

 _"Do you miss her?_

 _Like I miss you?"_

The next day was the same: no food, no activities, no communication... only tears. She had changed into her bathrobe, but that was her only accomplishment the entire day. The missed calls piled up, and she ignored them all. She didn't even bother to read the text messages. She refused to speak to anyone.

Once again, Regina Mills had become a closed book.

This went on for days, until finally, there was a knock at the door. At first, it was soft, but when there was no response, it grew into banging, the noise shaking the entire door.

As hard as Regina tried to ignore the sound, she eventually caved in and walked over to the door and looked out of the small hole at eye-level. When she saw the beautiful blonde standing there, gentle curls bouncing around her shoulders, her heart stopped. It was then that she gained the motivation to walk away, the motivation of her own fear and frustration.

"Regina!" a voice called out. "Open the door. I just want to talk."

At first, she thought about shouting 'no,' but instead, she stayed silent and ascended the stairs to her room, collapsing once more on the bed and soaking her pillow with her own agony.

The banging continued for a few more minutes, and Regina only stopped crying when it came to an end.

 _Slowly, it's consuming me_

 _Deliberate and deep_

 _I can't take this deeper panic_

 _Teach me, teach me not to dream_

 _Dream deeply_

Each day for the following week, the blonde returned, screaming louder each time, banging even harder, until Regina thought she was about to break the door down. When she woman finally verbally threatened to do this, Regina laughed bitterly and turned away, returning to her bedroom where she continued let her sorrow consume her.

It was only when another individual showed up at her door that she felt compelled to open it.

"Mom!" a young boy called out. "Open up!"

"Go away, Henry," she yelled, pressing her hands against the door and resting her forehead on the wood as she shut her eyes and felt the tears well up yet again.

"No! I'm going to keep coming back until you open the door. I'm never going to give up on you."

 _Why?_ the woman was wondering, but she said nothing else. She walked away from her son and retreated into herself, refusing to accept the love of the person she cared for most.

 _Slowly, it's consuming me_

 _Deliberate and deep_

 _I can't take this deeper panic_

 _Teach me, teach me not to dream_

 _Dream deeply_

In the next two weeks, Regina began to lose weight rapidly as she consumed nothing, ignoring the hunger and instead accepting the nausea that came with her heartbreak. Henry returned each day, but the blonde did not come back in those two weeks.

At last, though, after that time had passed, the woman finally showed up again, her arm wrapped around her son as they stood on Regina's doorstep. When the brunette looked out of the peep hole, she saw that her son was crying, and that the blonde looked surprisingly distraught.

"What do you want?" Regina finally snapped.

"We want to talk," the woman told her, banging on the door a few more times. "Just let us in."

"Get out of here," Regina ordered, slamming her own fist against the door in response. "Get the fuck out of here."

"I'm not leaving until you open the goddam door."

"Yeah, Mom," the boy cut in, choking through his tears. "We're not leaving."

When she heard the sound of her son crying, Regina froze, her fist still resting against the door.

"D-Don't cry, Henry," she sniffled. "Just go."

"OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR, REGINA!" Emma screamed, fearlessly using two fists to bang on the door that time. This only encouraged Regina's fury and pain, so she turned away, but just as she was to ascend the stairs, she heard Emma whimper, "Please, Regina. Please."

The sound caught her heart in her throat as she heard the unmistakable pain in the woman's voice. It was only then that Regina slowly turned the lock of the door. As soon as the other woman heard the sound, she kicked the door in, nearly hitting Regina in the face, and burst into the house.

 _Slowly, I'll swallow your fears_

 _For all of those years_

 _How could you let them consume me?_

 _Teach me, teach me how you sleep_

 _So sweetly_

"Regina, I-" the sheriff started, but Regina cut her off instantly.

"How do you sleep at night?" she asked through tears.

"What are you talking about?"

"How do you sleep at night, when you know you're tearing someone apart so enthusiastically?"

"Regina, please," Emma begged. "I didn't know!"

"You didn't care!" the brunette screamed, shoving Emma back until she stumbled, nearly falling over and knocking into their son.

"That's not true!" Emma cried, stepping bravely forward until her face was close to Regina's. "I didn't know!"

"You never bothered to ask."

"How was I supposed to know? You've loathed me since day one!"

"If you had paid any attention, taken _any_ notice at all, you would have seen it. Besides, it's not like it would have changed anything."

"You don't know that," Emma protested, reaching for the woman's hand, but Regina pulled away quickly before they touched.

"You broke my fucking heart, Emma Swan," Regina spat. "Now, get out of my goddam house."

As soon as Emma turned around, tears poured down the mayor's cheeks.

"I love you, Mom," Henry sniffled, reluctantly turning and following his other mother outside, leaving his adoptive mother to suffer her heartbreak alone.

 _Slowly, it's consuming me_

 _Deliberate and deep_

 _I can't take this deeper panic_

 _Teach me, teach me how you sleep_

 _So sweetly_

The next time there was a knock at the door, days later, Regina's stomach turned. Partly, the sensation was from fury, but partly, it was hope that gripped her. When she looked outside to see who dared to confront her and saw that it was Emma, and that she was alone, her stomach flipped again.

"Get the hell out of here," Regina called out furiously, her voice stern and cold, hiding her sorrow.

"I'm not leaving," Emma told her. "I need to see you."

Regina was taken aback by this, and asked, "Why?"

"Open the door, and I'll show you."

"Show me?"

"Open the door."

It was then that Regina's hand, without her permission, moved to the lock and turned it. As soon as Emma burst through the doorway, she rushed at Regina, grabbing her face in her hands. The passionate kiss that followed shook Regina to her core, and at first, she didn't return it. It was only when Emma wrapped an arm around her back and pulled their bodies together that she allowed her lips to move with the sheriff's.

"I am so, _so_ sorry, Regina," Emma breathed when she finally pulled away. "You have no idea how sorry I am."

"Show me how sorry you are."

Emma kissed her again, this time more slowly and with more tenderness, stroking Regina's cheek with her thumb.

"He's never meant anything to me," Emma told the woman. "He never will."

"And what do I mean to you?" Regina asked through burning tears, staring into the savior's eyes.

"Everything, Regina," Emma answered. "Everything."


End file.
